Thoughts on Marriage

Hello Readers :)

This weekend Johnny and I headed to PA (where Johnny and my roots are) to see two of our friends from college get married! It was a gorgeous vintage-themed wedding, and the couple was just beaming with love for each other. The groom cried (I just love that, reminds me of my wedding day and Johnny staring at me with tears streaming down his face!), and the bride was just radiant. 

When we came back to NY (where Johnny and I currently reside), we had a great Italian meal (pasta, minestrone soup, cannoli*...yum) with friends of ours who are recently engaged. The wedding, the newly engaged couple, all of these things got me thinking about marriage. So often, our culture focuses on finding the elusive "one," almost like a "Where's Waldo" book! People sometimes have a "list" of things they're looking for, down to eye color, and every person is being checked off to see if they fit.

I wasn't like that. I didn't have a clue what I was looking for. I had not seen a lot of successful marriages, so I guess I had a list of "Things You Don't Want in a Marriage," a little different than the norm. I didn't know if I would actually get married, after seeing so many marriages break up and the hurt that comes from that. Meeting Johnny totally changed my perspective. Never in my life did I think I would find the right guy, let alone have him be a hunk too. My husband is sexy gorgeous amazing. Focus June, focus...


The point I was trying to get at (before I distracted myself) was this: Johnny and I have had our struggles. Still do. Still will. I don't believe I found the "one," but I did find a guy that I could commit to sharing my life with, for better or for worse. It didn't matter if we liked the same types of foods, or if I got butterflies the first time we kissed (I did, by the way, just to clarify, still do actually), or if there were enough coincidences in our dating life to convince me I was somehow "fated" to meet Johnny.  We met, fell in love, and chose to spend the rest of our days together. Simple as that. I truly believe that marriage is about the choices you make, and not the "one" or the "list." But when you make that choice, wow. It's been the most amazing journey of my life! Just for fun, I made a more realistic "list" of things that I believe set Johnny and I up for success. If I was back to my single lady days (cue the music..."all the single ladies!"), I might focus on a list more like this, knowing what I know now:

1. We have the same foundation. We both believe in God as our Father and Jesus Christ as our Savior. We have created our live to center around this fact. It really has made all the difference. I will go on, but I could end on this note alone.

2. We laugh. I'm not talking giggling. I mean tears-streaming-down-your-face, sides-aching, peeing-your-pants laugh together. I've never laughed with someone in my life the way I laugh with Johnny, and laughing together has brought us far. I remember when Johnny totaled our only car by (accidentally, in his defense) putting it in reverse going down a hill. The engine squeeled, the car sputtered, and it died. We looked at each other and burst out laughing. Life is way too short and way too hard not to laugh.

3. We talk. Every morning, Johnny wakes up before me. He sits on the couch and reads. When my alarm goes off, I wander over to the couch and sit in his lap. We talk about the days ahead of us, sharing joys and fears. Every night, Johnny and I lay on the carpet in our living room, side by side, staring up at the ceiling, and talk about our days. Sometimes this lasts just a few minutes, and other times an hour. The point is, we make time to talk every single day.

Again, we are by no means experts on marriage (we do have 2 years under the belt!), but we are committed to our marriage for the rest of our lives, and we're excited to share what we learn along the way. This verse comes to mind:

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3

~June

*When typing the word "cannoli," I was trying to make it plural with "cannolis" because, let's be honest, I definitely ate more than one. It kept coming up as wrong, so I tried "cannolies," "cannolyes," and lots of other embarrassing versions of it. Since it was stumping me, I headed to Wikipedia to find out that the singular is actually "cannolo" and the plural is "cannoli." So, there is your vocab lesson for today. Tune in tomorrow for "I before E, except after C..."