Does God Care?

I must admit, I have been there before. On the Internet, cyberspacing out. Wondering if God exists, wondering if He hears me, and He if does, does He even care? I am sure someone will probably google these very same questions today. Why am I so sure of myself, because there were over 850 million results that came up in less than a second when I searched that question earlier. [I love that google has that feature. It is such a quick pat on the back for themselves]

This morning I woke up at like six in the morning. June's alarm went off because she's a runner. Not to say that I am not, but she has morning momentum right now, and I must confess I tried to take it away from her. I was like that fluffy pillow in that Nike ad on TV, where the runner wakes up only to find their fluffy pillow trying to convince them to stay in bed.

That was the moment were I had to face myself. About a week earlier I made a choice that upset June, and this morning she explained why. The truth in her explanation exposed my vulnerable heart, and immediately I wanted to run. No, not the three miles with her, but much like Elijah ran from Jezebel who challenged Him. In his shame, I hear Elijah fumbling over his next few words as he wallows under a tree, "take my life, I am not better than my ancestors."

This guy was ridiculous.  He did all these amazing things for God and was used by God in very tremendous ways. He stood up to 850 people who were openly mocking his God, but when it came to just one person who challenged him he ran in fear. Giving up on God and himself. I think each day everyone of us faces at least one challenge that targets the very core of who we are. Today, for me, it was this morning when June told me it was difficult for her to trust me. She wasn't saying she didn't love me. What she said went deeper than that. It went right to the place that my heart fears - failure.

It is often when I feel like a failure that I find myself cyberspacing out. This morning though I wrote in my journal. As a result, I came across this passage about Elijah. In the Bible, he was considered to be the greatest prophet in the Old Testament. He was the real deal! Even still, in a moment of vulnerability, he forgets who God is and His purpose for Elijah's life. You can hear him fleeing from that scene screaming, "ARE YOU EVEN REAL GOD!" Which plainly echoes, "I don't know if I trust You! To add injury to insult, he ran away from a girl. She questions his legitimacy and his God's too, and he takes off running.  No offense woman, but come on, grab a pair...of 2x4's and be a man.

This morning after June shared her heart with me, and the pain she felt, I wanted to run, but God wouldn't let me. Much like the story in Elijah I felt Him pressing on my heart, "Go back the way you came!" He desired not for me to avoid my fear, or my wife, but to face the challenge. To trust in Him again. To trust that He is real, he does care, and that His grace is sufficient in my weakness. 

I don't know what challenge you may be facing this day. I encourage you not to run from it, but to look it in the face, and trust that God will be who He says He is. Let me know how it works out!